A father once sat down with the young man his daughter was planning to marry. They had not yet met and the father wished to learn more about the man who would become his son-in-law. “You are currently learning in yeshiva, what are your plans for eventually getting a job?” he asked. “God will provide.” “But how will you support my daughter?” “God will provide.” “But – how are you going to raise a family without a job or a career?” “God will provide.”
After this conversation the father spoke to his wife. “What did you think of him?” she asked her husband. “Well, on the one hand he has no prospects for a career and no realistic way of supporting himself or a family.” On the other hand, he thinks I’m God.
The relationship of Moshe and Yitro seems to be the ideal model of what a relationship can be like between a father in law and his son in law. Yitro welcomed Moshe, an unknown “Egyptian” refugee into his family, took care of Moshe’s children when Moshe returned to Egypt on his mission from God, and then provided crucial advice that helped Moshe work more effectively and efficiently.
A wise woman once told me, “everyone knows that unsolicited advice is not appreciated but only very clever understand that solicited advice is also not appreciated.” Parashat Yitro seems to be a story about a counter-example. It is a rare story of a successful intervention and an example of someone who could receive and accept advice.
Yitro saw that Moshe was overwhelmed by hordes of people seeking his guidance and advice. Yitro’s solution was simple and it was radical: delegate! Create a system of lower-level judges to provide guidance to the masses and you, Moshe, should only hear cases of great importance. And Moshe, accepts his father in law’s advice….almost.
There are subtle differences between Yitro’s suggestion and Moshe’s implementation and those differences reveal competing philosophies of leadership. More accurately, Moshe gives the appearance of taking his father in law’s advice, but he doesn’t fully implement Yitro’s suggestion because Moshe and Yitro have fundamentally and profoundly opposite conceptions of leadership.
Yitro sees Moshe with a long line of visitors waiting to seek his council and Yitro asks Moshe who these people are and what they are doing here:
וַיַרא֙ חֹתֵ֣ן מֹשֶ֔ה אֵ֛ת כָל־אֲשֶר־ה֥וא עֹשֶ֖ה לָעָ֑ם וַיֹ֗אמֶר מָֽה־הַדָבָ֤ר הַזֶה֙ אֲשֶ֨ר אַתָ֤ה עֹשֶה֙ לָעָ֔ם מַד֗ועַ אַתָ֤ה יושֵב֙ לְבַדֶָ֔ וְכָל־הָעָ֛ם נִצָ֥ב עָלֶ֖יָ מִן־בֹ֥קר עַד־עָֽרב׃
“And when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he did to the people, he said: ‘What is this thing that you do for the people? why do you sit alone, and all the people stand about from morning unto evening?’”
Moshe replies:
וַיֹ֥אמֶר מֹשֶ֖ה לְחֹתְנ֑ו כִֽי־יָבֹ֥א אֵלַ֛י הָעָ֖ם לִדר֥ש א-ֱלהִֽים׃
And Moses said unto his father-in-law: ‘Because the people come unto me to inquire of God; when they have a matter, it comes to me; and I judge between a man and his neighbor, and I make them know the statutes of God, and His laws.’
Moshe understands that the line of people waiting to speak to him are, essentially, interested in connecting to God. They want religious guidance, but they want an encounter with God and Moshe is prepared to facilitate that encounter.
Yitro sees Moshe’s role as being more purely judicial. When Yitro presents his proposal for a new and more efficient leadership structure he explains that the system of judges and courts and their function in this way:
וְשָפְט֣ו אֶת־הָעָם֮ בְכָל־עֵת֒ וְהָיָ֞ה כָל־הַדָבָ֤ר הַגָדל֙ יָבִ֣יאו אֵלֶ֔יָ וְכָל־הַדָבָ֥ר הַקָטֹ֖ן יִשְפְטו־הֵ֑ם וְהָקל֙ מֵֽעָלֶ֔יָ וְנָשְא֖ו אִתְָֽ׃
“And let them judge the people at all seasons; and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge themselves; so shall they make it easier for thee and bear the burden with thee.”
There is no mention of God or of the possibility of encountering God. Yitro sees the crowds that converge on Moshe as being people in need of information. They need judgement; decisions need to be made for them. The role of leadership is decision making for the sake of order and stability. Moshe himself only needs to handle כָל־הַדָבָ֤ר הַגָדל֙ – the truly great matters.
What does Moshe do? He sets up a network of regional lower courts just as Yitro suggested, and he empowers the lower judges to adjudicate, just as Yitro understood their task:
וְשָפְט֥ו אֶת־הָעָ֖ם בְכָל־עֵ֑ת אֶת־הַדָבָ֤ר הַקָשֶה֙ יְבִיא֣ון אֶל־מֹשֶ֔ה וְכָל־הַדָבָ֥ר הַקָטֹ֖ן יִשְפוט֥ו הֵֽם׃
Did Moshe capitulate to Yitro’s suggestion and his world view? In an insightful essay Rabbi Yehuda Brandes points out that Moshe does not fully accept his father in law’s advice.
Yitro thought that Moshe’s role should be limited to ֙כָלַ־הדָבָ֤ר הַגָדל the questions of great magnitude. When Moshe instructs the lower court judges he tells them that his own role will remain ֙אֶתַ־הדָבָ֤ר הַקָשֶה – the hard questions – the challenging questions.
Should the “big questions” go to Moshe or should the “hard questions” go to Moshe? And what is the difference? Yitro sees the purpose of the leadership structure with Moshe at its pinnacle to be about providing judgement, providing data, and creating stability. Moshe only has to personally intervene if there is a question on an objectively large scale – for example a monetary dispute about a large sum of money – because only Moshe has the authority to render a decision that will be respected when the stakes are so high.
But Moshe wants to answer the “hard” questions, and not the “big questions.” Moshe wants the questions that are subjectively important to be referred to him. He wants the questions of existential importance to be brought to him for a response. Moshe understands that the apparatus of judgement and leadership with Moshe at its pinnacle is not about providing information and is not, only, about creating stability. Moshe understands that the people are coming to him, in the Torah’s words: לִד֥רש אֱ-לִֽהים׃ to seek God.
Moshe doesn’t need the objectively big questions, he needs the subjectively important questions. Because his role is, primarily, not about providing information, but about providing an experience to people who are seeking God. They need to know that Moshe is approachable and they need to know that Moshe cares about them and who they are and what is important to them. Only in that way can Moshe facilitate the people’s desire to seek God.
Religious leadership is not only about information but it’s about love, community, transcendence, and feeling heard and welcomed.
The same dynamic that existed between Moshe and B’nai Yisrael is true for us as well. When we experience Judaism, in shul, in home, in prayer, we should strive “lidrosh Elokim” to seek God. We should be ambitious in our religious goals, and also open to experiences of transcendence.
If I may, I can share something personal that happened to me just this morning. When I recited the amidah for Shacharit this morning, my three sons were standing next to me all four of us reciting the amidah at the same time. The timing doesn’t usually work out perfectly in this way. It’s been many years since I’ve been able to stand next to my father in shul. And when I was standing next to my sons, I was filled with gratitude. First, gratitude towards Sara who got all of our children awake and dressed and brought them to shul. I felt grateful to the shul for making this a place where my children feel so comfortable and happy. And I felt a palpable sense of the continuity of the generations, one to the next through history. There are moments of transcendence that are available to us if we are open to the experience. If we are ambitious about our goals when we engage with Torah and mitzvoth we can turn those occasions into opportunities “lidrosh Elokim.”
This lesson was crucial for Moshe’s own leadership. But it is not just Moshe, who need this lesson in leadership.
From the perspective of American Judaism, anyone who comes to shul on a Shabbat morning, in February is in the top 90th percentile of Jewish affiliation, knowledge, and commitment.
Just because you are here, there are people who look to you as representatives of Judaism. They look to you for information about Judaism. But they look to you for more than information. The Jewish masses, the overwhelming majority of whom did not attend any shul, synagogue, or temple this morning may never approach you for Jewish guidance. But if and when they do, they are our brothers and sisters and they want to be loved, they want to be cared about, they want support in their quest to encounter God. And like Moshe, it’s our task to help them in that endeavor.
The core insight of this drasha can be found in Rav Yehuda Brandes: “Torat Imecha” pp. 175-177.
Rabbi David Wolkenfeld 